


Addicting

by lilylights



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-29 00:02:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17797256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilylights/pseuds/lilylights
Summary: They had grazed this topic before, but always dancing around the edges of this shared experience. Shared trauma. After all, there is very few people who had housed Tom Riddle in their head.





	Addicting

Harry saw Ginny as he reached the bottom of the stairs. While it was not uncommon to find someone else up at night–the war left them all with nightmares–it was not often Ginny would be there. Harry had assumed that she was one to prefer solitude after nightmares, not the company that would more nights than not be found in the Burrow’s kitchen.

He padded across the room to get a glass of water before sitting across from her at the long table. They sat in silence for a time: Harry siping is water, Ginny staring out the nearby window. The silence was also not unusual in this night time routine the house’s occupants had slowly developed. Sometimes just having another person in the room was enough to keep the nightmares at bay.

An indeterminate time later, Ginny spoke.

“Sometimes I miss him.” She did not move from her relaxed position in the chair, eyes still staring out the window, however Harry could see the tension in her shoulders and neck, a slight tightening around her eyes. He thought he knew who she was talking about, be he kept quiet, letting her say what she wished. 

The silence had almost settled itself on the table before she eventually spoke again.

“I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help it. He was all I had for months. And ever after he was gone, even after I knew why I couldn’t keep him out...”

“He was never really gone.”

At Harry's words Ginny turned to look at him for the first time that night. Her eyes locked with his, clear and piercing, brows posed in a frown of thought.

He met her gaze with tired but firm acceptance. They had grazed this topic before, but always dancing around the edges of this shared experience. Shared trauma. After all, there is very few people who had housed Tom Riddle in their head.

“He was evil. Manipulative. Dangerous.” She was still staring at him. Her words were clear, but her eyes seemed to ask a question.

“Yes.” He replied. “He was also charismatic, charming,” He hesitated, but continued softly, “Handsome. Understanding. Intoxicating.”

“Compelling” Ginny whispered, matching his dropping tone. “Enchanting, captivating.” And so silent he could hardly head. “Addicting.”

They were silent again, both caught in their thoughts. Memories of slick words hissed into open ears. 

Harry broke the silence this time. “Ron and Hermione both wore the locket. Ron had it tempt him in its last moments, but they didn’t, they don’t-“ He broke off in frustration. He had tried to explain this to Hermione before, on a different sleepless night, but he hadn’t been able to explain it. “It affected them, their emotions. It manipulated them, like me, but-“

“But they never knew Tom.” Ginny said.

“Yes.” Harry breathed out. He knew she would understand. As far as Ron and Hermione were concerned, Tom Riddle is just an outdated name for Voldemort. Different times, perhaps, but the same person. But they hadn’t had him in their head, not like Harry and Ginny had. And not just literally. They may have had the locket preying on their insecurities, their fears, but they haven't dealt with Tom Riddle when he was convincing. When he used words to charm you as easy as spells. Offering Harry’s parents for a stone. Showing 50 year old memories for trust. Inhabiting you so completely your own thoughts stop mattering. Laying on the floor of the Ministry of Magic, Riddle using Harry’s voice to taunt Dumbledore. Slithering down a dark corridor, towards an invisible Mr. Weasley.

Offering to spare the fighters of Hogwarts, for something so inconsequential as Harry’s life. “You have let your friends die for you.”

Harry jerked out of his thoughts as a small hand grasped his own. He realized his knuckles were white with how hard he was clutching his mug. He slowly relaxed his body, allowing the strain brought by his memories to completely bled away before bringing his tired eyes to meet Ginny’s. He saw understanding in her eyes, but that was all. That was one thing he always loved about Ginny. She never delved into pity, for herself or others. He slid his fingers from the handle of his mug, intertwining them with her’s instead.

“I’m glad he’s dead.” She said, and he knew she wasn’t talking about Voldemort. No, that went unspoken. She meant Tom Riddle. Charming, handsome, addicting Tom Riddle. Tom Riddle that was her confidant for months. Tom Riddle who was the darling of Hogwarts. Tom Riddle who was the one constant in his life he hadn’t even known about for 17 years. 

“Me too.” Harry said. And for now, at least, he believed it.


End file.
